Anko in Wonderland
by Trissacar
Summary: A Alice in Wonderland type parody. Anko comes home from a mission and falls asleep. Pairings are as follows: Orochimaru/Anko Neji/Hinata A little Tsunade/Jiraiya.


Anko in Wonderland

Anko fell asleep feeling weak after a long mission. She drifted off into a dream state.

Anko looked down at herself. She was wearing a purple dress with a white apron over it. Something caught her eye. A gray rabbit with hair like Kakashi ran past her.

"I'm late! I'm late! I'm very very late I'm late for an important date!" He said running past her with a pocket watch in one hand and Icha Icha paradise in the other.

"Oh Kakashi san! I mean rabbit san! Wait for me!"

"No time to waste hello goodbye I'm late for that book signing!"

She passed Shikamaru who was a Dodo singing to himself.

"I know its sad but I never gave a damn about the weather and it never gave a damn about me."

Then she turned to see Hinata and Neji dressed up in little suites. They said Tweedlee and Tweedledum.

"Damnit this is getting weird."

"Tweedledee kun? Who is that?"

"Oh I'd better get out of here before things start getting weird." She'd long been uncomfortable with Neji's relationship with Hinata.

"Wait let us tell you a story of Naruto kun!"

"No!"

Then if that wasn't enough she found Asuma smoking. Except he was a giant caterpiller.

"Who R U?"

"You know me!"

"Never mind I don't care."

"Well that was quick."

She briefly saw a pink pigeon that resembled Sakura but was too weirded out to care.

"Please tell me I'm going to wake up soon."

She wandered through a forest again and heard a chuckle. She tried to pull out a kunai but found that she didn't have one attached to her leg just bloomers.

"Hello there."

She turned around to see a purple cat with familiar yellow snake eyes.

"Orochimaru?"

"Who is that? I'm a cheshire cat! And where perchance are you going?"

"I don't know!"

"Hmm well he went that way." He pointed toward the left while looking to the right.

"Who did?"

"The gray rabbit."

"Which way did he go?"

"Who?"

"Kakashi san! I mean the gray rabbit!"

"Who's that?"

"Even in my dreams you have to be a pain in the ass."

"Well if you are looking for the gray rabbit I'd suggest going to see the Mad Hatter." He said curling his tail around her waist.

She turned to see a sign that said the Mad Hatter.

"Though hes not quite as mad as the assistant."

"Hmm?"

"Kabuto san he's insane. Though you might have noticed that I'm not all there myself!" He said while his body started to dissapear.

"Don't I know that."

"Well I'll be seeing you!" He licked the side of her face.

"Ew that was disgusting!"

She found a table in the forest where Jiraiya was singing while running around the table with Kabuto. Kabuto had bunny ears which seemed to fit him incredibly well. And Jiraiya was dressed in a funny green hat.

"My dear come sit down and have a cup of sake while I read you my book."

"I'd really rather not. Have you seen a gray rabbit?"

"Well no my dear! But I'd rather be seeing you!"

Kabuto snorted and pushed up his glasses.

Anko chose to ignor it.

"Then I'd best be on my way then." She didn't know why she was talking like this but it just seemed to pop out of her mouth.

"Oh no! You must celebrate the book signing with us!" Kabuto exclaimed.

"Thats right!" Jiraiya said

"You must come my dear! See far and clear! My book is very near!"

The gray rabbit entered.

"Oh dear I'm late! Here sign my book quickly!"

"Why yes!"

"Oh rabbit san! Where are you going in such a hurry?!" Anko asked but he was gone. She decided to leave the two weirdos with their books and wandered through the forest some more. Feeling sad and abandoned she sat on a tree stump and started to cry. Hearing some singing she looked up to see the cheshire cat.

"I want to go home!"

"Go see the queen I think thats the next part of the story."

The tree he was laying on opened up and she saw a castle.

"Were painting the roses red. Oh were painting the roses red!" Lee and Guy sang painting a rose bush.

"I'm gonna pass on this one.

"The queen!"

"I wonder who that could be?"

Tsunade came out of nowhere wearing a giant red dress and the gray rabbit Kakashi san came running out blowing a trumphet himself.

"Gray rabbit san!"

Then there was a whole issue with them painting the roses and she was happy she had stayed out of it. Shizune was her assistant and Tsunade was in a very bad mood.

"HEY YOU GIRL! Do you like to gamble?"

"Not really."

"Off with her head!"

"Oh dear!"

She saw the Orochimaru cat appear around Tsunade.

"The cat!"

"What cat?!"

"The cat in the hat!"

"Hey I'm not in wearing a hat!" Orochimaru protested.

"Shut up you!"

"Hey queen you want to read my book with me in a 'private session'?" Jiraiya suddenly appeared next to Tsunade.

"Damnit theres the cat again!"

"OFFF WITH HER HEAD!"

She ran away from Guy,Lee, and Shizune. They chased her into a black abyss.

Then she woke up.

"That was one weird dream."


End file.
